florida_magpie9

The rest of the week...

2005-12-10T13:26:31Z

Some tension has been there between be and the boyfriend. We didnt really talk much at all during the week. We didnt argue once but it felt like we were still it was so weird and i didnt like it. I met a new friend called Ryan he is so sweet and so cute. He wears really tight pants?? he is really into the "punk" scene. But ive known the kid since like 7th grade but he called me thursday night since justin never called me back from his wrestling thing and me and him talked for like 2 and a half hours to 3 hours it was so funny. The next day at school on Friday he saw me at lunch and gave me a hug and told me i looked nice and that was pretty much it but then later on i came home to get ready for the military call and i was getting my hair and makeup done and i had a message so i checked it and it was ryan it was so funny it made me smile. I was happy to know that he actually called me like he said he would unlike someone i know who happens to be my boyfriend. So when i was done getting ready and on my way to Justins house i called him and woke him up and he was like "oh i called to tell u that u looked really beautiful today... but i couldnt tell u that when i was with u cuz i couldnt stop looking at u" and i was like "awww thank u" he is soooooooo friggen sweet i swear, its been like forever and a day since i heard something like that from justin. But i told him where i was going and he wanted me to call him back when i got home but i didnt cuz it was way too late and its his house phone...

I arrived at justins house and he came out the bathroom and he raised his eye brows at the sight of me and winked at me and says "hey you" and i smiled he was freaking out cuz we were gonna be late and he didnt wanna have to drink from the "grog" a toilet bowl in the middle of the room that has all this stuff in it, its pretty gross. We took some pictures and left he was kinda acting like a jerk since he was stressed but i was like whatever just enjoy the night. So we get in there and we r mingling with his friends and then i see his exgirlfriend katie [the one who tried to steal him from me in the begeinning of our relationship] yuh HER! but anyways we went into some room shook peoples hands and then sat down to listen to the longest speeches in the world. Justin was acting like the class clown of the table i guess but it was whatever he held my hand and snoook me in some kises from time to time which i liked... what i didnt like was at intermission he was texting his friend alex the whole time and he told him to KEEP texting him and they were making plans for AFTER the damn ball and i was like "what r u doing? thats so rude" and he is like "why do u wanna stay the night at my house?" and i just rolled my eyes how friggen rude is that! i was so nervous the whole time about everything like how he was at homecoming and i never once left to talk on my phone and make plans for afterwards and all he could do was be concerned about himself incase he got sent to the grog. That all made me kinda mad then his friend alex texted him when this lady was speaking which said "tell sophie i said she is a nigger...sry i had to get that out" and im like "wtf?" they r both so gay. After some more texts he quit and we held hands and talked and had fun and we talked to his ex and all her friends that was there... her date didnt even bother coming until the dancing part. The dancing part was fun although we didnt really dance they played all this spanish rap so me and him went outside and i met a bunch of his friends who r really cool. It officially proves that he acts so different around me when he is with his friends. There were like 4 slow songs and we would be outside and he would hear it and interrupt his friends and be like "sry g2g" and drag me into the room and dance with me i thought that was sweet. All of his friends had some nice comment to see about me his one friend i was sitting on the wall and justin was standing talking to jon-jon... he sat beside me turns to me and says "u kno ur really hot" and im like "thank u" and he is like "what r u doing with that dousche over there?" and im like "ive known him since 8th grade" and he is like "wow what a waste of time" then justin comes back and he left and i told him what he said and he got irritated. When we were dancing the kid would come up behind me and dance with me too it was weird, then i think what pissed justin off the most was we were outside and i was talking to him and out of no where he comes up behind me [this guy] and picks me up and takes me away from him and says "this is my girl now" ive never seen justin get up so fast in my life. I met another friend of his whose first thing he said to me was "u have such a beautiful smile" then he turns to justin and goes "sry thats the first thing i saw about her" and justin is like "oh its cool its cool" and all his friends were putting their arms around me and saying i was their girlfriend and stuff it was pretty ammusing, then the last song was a slow song it was the whole "i swear... by the moon and the stars in the sky" and he sat there and danced with me and sang the words to me it was so sweet i loved it everytime we would dance he would get a text or a call or something and it was funny cuz in the beginning of the night he didnt care but as the end got closer he was getting pissed off and was like "alex i cant do anything tonight man no". Then after the thing i checked my phone and had a bunch of missed calls and we went outside and he gave me his jacket and i called some people back and he is like "why r u callin them?" and im like "cuz they called me" and he is like "well what do they need?" hehehehe i guess it hurts when i do it to him but im supposed to be fine when he did it to me. So he told me his grandparents were coming down from iowa next week! i get to finally meet them lol im so happy ive been waiting since his birthday to meet them. He was telling me about the concert and im like "im gonna miss u tomorrow baby" and he is like "i kno im gonna miss u 2" and i asked him to call me when trace adkins plays honkeytonkn badonkadonk and one hot momma" he said he will try his hardest and he was being so sweet with me when his friends werent there but i understand cuz im not really sweet and all over him when im with my friends but overall the night was great. He walked me to the door and my mom asked if he thought i looked fantastic and he was like "ofcourse" and he gave me a kissy goodnight and i asked him if he was gonna call me and he is like "prolly not im tired...wait yuh i am ill call... I LOVE U" and blew me a kissy... oh yuh and there was one part of the night he sat there and had to pee and i was sitting on the wall by myself and he asked this girl and guy to talk to me and keep me company but they kinda mingled away but as he was walking away he was like "ill be right back baby" and he blew me a kiss! omg i havent had one of those in forever it seems like. But yuh he called me when he got back home and we talked for like 30 mins and he said he would call me in the morning. I think things r gonna be different from now on. I hope i see him on sunday hehehehe. Well im gonna go and see if myspace is working yet [i think this is the longest entry i have written in here for a while] goodbye.

tuesssdaayyyy

2005-12-06T21:29:52Z

Ok so Sunday was awesome... and yesterday justin went to wrestling practice and he called me while he was walking home but i was working out and on the treadmill so he said "ill let u go and talk to u later" we got off the phone and he told me he loved me with no hesitation... so later on i called him and he didtn answer but he called me back and he had been running and exercising himself and then we got off the phone for him to take a shower with NO "i love u" but i guess he thought i was supposed to call him back but i thought he was callin me back and he called me at like 9 something being like "well i was just callin u to say im going to sleep cuz u didnt call me back" and im like "i was waiting for u to call" and he is like "no u were supposed to call" lol but then i stretched and he thought i told him i loved him and he is like "i love u 2 " and im like "what?" and he is like "i said i loved u 2" and im like "i didnt even say i loved u" and he is like "oh then fine ok" and im like "well i love u" and he is just like "ok" so i said it again and he is like "ok" and so i was like "pssshh" and he is like "what?" and i was like "i love u" and he is like "i love u 2" lol and so he said he was gonna try and call me in the morning but he didnt cuz since i dont call and wake him up anymore he wakes up late and he has to just leave and run to school lol... i love him so much and i cant wait until friday i get to see him... i can really do without talking to him on the phone all night cuz we usually dont talk anyways and we get mad when one of us is doing something else and it leads to a dumb ass argument... i think now that we space it out i can work out and do my homework and so can he and we have no arguments and then when we see each other it will be even better... i hope this works out i love him so much... well im out bye bye xoxoxoxo

we talked...

2005-12-03T18:38:29Z

well me and the boy talked and i guess we r cool... i dont kno why im putting up with him and his hypocritical ass... urgh but im not gonna bother i hope i get to see him tonight... he said he wants to see me so i think we just might if not then i HAVE to sunday or i think i will scream at the kid. To make a long story short he left his phone at alex's house while drinking walking all over bloomingdale with alex going to different guy's house and didnt get home til 4 in the morning when his curfew was 12... oh how fun he didnt have "time" apparently to call me, in the morning he elft his phone in the kitchen cuz he fell asleep in the car and his mom woke him up at 6:30 and made him get up and he had to walk so he didnt call... he got home at 6 his dad called and he had to email some guy for him him and alex had planned this at school i guess and he cleaned his room jumped in the shower got out and alex's mom was there to pick him up and he left and he didnt call. Got drunk walked around to tyler's house and doug's house and drank more came home smashed passed out in his bed and then finally called me around 10 and realized it was saturday and had to go to work and i hope he has the shittiest day at work today hehe :-D I sat there and was like "yuh did u even KNOW what yesterday was?" and he goes "yes" and im like "what was it?" and he is like "the 2nd" and im like "yuh OUR ANNIVERSARY!" we just got back together and this happens... but then we started talking about other stuff and we had been on the phone for like 25 mins and he had to go and go to work and he said he is gonna call me when he gets off work... lets see if that happens... i really hope i see him tonight... or tomorrow i dont wanna have to wait til the military ball to see him cuz i dont wanna still be mad at him... boyfriends suck.. i wish he would realize that if he is gonna keep hanging out with friends like that he is gonna lose everything he has... he wants to lose weight for wrestling but drinking beer is really gonna help that, he wants to pass his classes walking around at 4 in the morning isnt gonna help that... im who he turns to for help and support and his friends just block me out of him well just alex... asshole! i hate alex he talks alot of shit but never to my face he's such a pussy... a single pussy.. he is one of those who had something special and fucked up and still hurts from it so he thinks he should get all his friends to do it like justin, alex is the kinda guy that would say there is no girls in the world just bitches u kno? and i know i dont want justin to end up like that we have been fine for 7 months without alex's input... ive seen alex's ex and she is so pretty and alex is not so pretty at all and yuh she broke up with him and i really think he now realizes how good he had it and hates to see justin have it... but the military ball is coming up and alex will be there "oh joy" lets see how good that one goes, if he as much tries to say anything to me i dont care what it is ima slit a bitch lol jk but ima tell himt o fuck off and mind his business cuz i really dont give a shit anymore, after what justin is doing to me my friends never once say any shit about him but his do, i kno they do its so obvious... but whatever... 2 can play this game and i know when i see justin thigns will be alot better and we r gonna gain back what we had and alex isnt gonna have shit to say about it... so there goodbye xoxoxoxo

OMFG!

2005-12-03T13:48:04Z

Just when i start to think things wit me and justin r getting better they r getting so much god damn worse and its all him... and he knows it and im the one thats suffering for it. It was our 7 month yesterday and i didnt talk to him ONCE through out the whole damn day not in the morning when i called to wake him up or anything i left message after emssage trying to find out if he is ok cuz the last time it alked to him was at like 4 pm on thursday... and i didnt get an answer at all then i called his MOMS CELL PHONE and she didnt answer but she called me back at like 9:55pm telling me he is at his friend ALEX'S house and he is fine and when she got home he wa son the computer and he didnt once call me to wish me a happy anniversary and i still havent talked to him SINCE u have no idea how much i have cried... he has seriously changed and i dont know what to do about it. I love him to death and all he is doing is breaking my heart, i hacked onto his voicemail cuz he told me his passcode to see if he checked his messages and he had and he still didnt call me back even though in the messages it was talking about how worried i was about him. i called him again just before and surprise surprise he didnt fucking answer! i left him a message saying we NEED to talk and im not gonna stop calling him til i do cuz there is no way he is doing this to me. He is hurting the shit outa me and all i can do is cry, why would he wanna do this to me? i didnt do anything fucking wrong if anyone would like to help me and talk to him for me cuz lord knows he aint talking to me, please be my guest ill give u his number but idk what the fuck to do anymore... i hate him and i love him wtf? im out bye

things might be getting better but i dont know

2005-11-30T11:15:20Z

So on Sunday night he calls me and tells me we should just be friends because he is scared incase i break his heart... or we fight too much and he loses his feelings for me... and so i tell him everything on how i feel about him and i sat there and asked him if he really wanted to throw it all away? and he said he didnt know but he thinks its for the best. So i kept asking him do u want to work this out or do u want to break up? and all he could say was "i dont know" and then he had to go cuz his mom wanted him and so he left and called me back and when he called me back we talked normally we didnt even mention it we just had a conversation like we did when we went out and then he told me he loved me when he got off the phone... next day i go to school so miserable crying over and over again and so shannon called him that night and he was with his friend going to game works and she asked him what was going on cuz i just didnt want to talk about it at all and so he told her "we broke up... well we r on a break" and she was like "well whats a break to u? is it a way of y'all being friends for a while and then going back out or just an immature way of breaking up for good?" and he said "well we r friends and we'll probably MOST LIKEY go back out" so that made me happy when she said that and she said from what they talked about and what she heard he sounded upset and we would work things out and he knows he doesnt wanna throw it away.. so he called me when he got back from gameworks but i was sleeping so i talked to him the next morning (Tuesday morning) when he called me and wejust talked again like normal... but last night me him his mom and brother went shopping and i couldve just cried right then and there we didnt hold hands or anything we just joked with each other and stuff and so in the foodcourt justin went to go get a refill his mom just turned to me and said "do u want some advice?" and i was like "yes please" and she told me "if u want him back u have to act like u dont want him... i know thats hard to do when ur in love but thats thr advice my mother in law gave me and it worked and now im passing it down to u" and then i told her about my point of view on the situation and he came back so we had to be quiet but he left again she sent him to get jordan a refill and she was like "i asked him what he wanted to do and if he wanted to break up and he said no, he just needed space so i said if u take a break things would get better" and i loved talking to his mom about it, and i felt more reassure that we will work out and when he walked me to the door he is like "come on babe come on" cuz he wanted to run and see his christmas present but i stopped him it was funny... but yuh i g2g school bus calls bye bye xoxoxoxoxo

ok back to what i was saying...

2005-11-27T15:38:31Z

ok i got off the phone with him and it sucks i NEED to see him but i cant... this is completely retarded... i love him so much how can something that was so perfect get messed up so friggen bad in such little time... we were supposed to go shopping today at the mall but its now his grandpa's birthday and his cousin is leaving so he just left for lakeland and i have no idea how long he is gonna be there... so i dont kno if we r gonna go or not... i didnt receive one phone call at all yesterday.. i called him twice once at 1 and another at like 9 something at night to see if we were doing anything today and i didnt get one phone call... but he had time to check his myspace and ERASED his fuckin background that i spent hours working on for him... and uploading it... i would never ever do this to him so why is he doing this to me? i thought he loved me and i know he says he does but its hard to tell when he acts like such an asshole to me i understand he has been busy and has had relatives but a simple phone call would of been nice... i hadnt heard from him since friday night at like 6... what if i fuckin did that to him would i ever hear the god damn end of it?? hell fucking no! but i dont wanna fight so i CANT bring it up cuz i dont wanna lose him so now i feel like a little doormat while he just walks all over me and he doesnt even realize how he is breaking my heart so much right now... its almost our 7 month anniversary and all i can do is practically be depressed over him... i baught a military ball dress the day after this all started... scared incase its a mistake incase something happens... he said he needed space well he's had all the damn space in the world and i pretty much know when his cousin is gone this is probably gonna be over and its gonna be weird talking to him during the week after school and stuff but next weekend ill see him cuz its our ANNIVERSARY and this will all be forgotten i hope and pray to god it is... why is it when his cousin is in town things get soo damn hard for us and things happen and we argue so much more... and im always the one that feels shut out and hurt... thank god for all ym girlfriends.. lyndsey and alex mostly during this time y'all have atleast gotten me out the house and doing things instead of waiting on him... i love this boy to death and i want to have more than 7 months with him so much more and i am pretty positive this is going to pass but im scared incase after this its gonna go downhill from here and we r gonna end up having a relationship like me and manny.. fighting, and break up and make up like 3 every month... im his longest relationship he has never went thru this b4 but i have and i when i went thru it. it was nothing but a bad experience i never wanted to go through again... but i am and i hate it, but all i can do is wait for him to call me and then tell me what he's been up to and get me to stop worrying after today i hope this stupid "break" will heal and we will be happy again, better than before i am willing to do it and i hope he is too... well im out my mom just woke up and im gonna go take a hot shower my back and butt is killing me from horse back riding ttyl bye xoxo

my thanksgiving break...

2005-11-27T15:03:26Z

well this thanksigving break has been ok... i have been hanging out with practically all my girlfriends which has been awesome but have had serious problems with my boyfriend and i dont kno how long we r gonna last anymore... ive cried so much and im hurting so bad and i dont know where we are... i dont feel like explaining it all in an entry but he is callin me so bye

First Day Of Thanksgiving Holiday...

2005-11-24T02:33:03Z

Well today was relaxing and stuff i watched a movie, worked on my myspace, played grand theft auto 3 and then me and kristina hung out i ahd so much fun we played dance dance revolution and i am pretty good at it... justin was mad at me but i dont think he is anymore lol oh well ive had a good day and im not gonna let him ruin it over something that was so stupid... but he told ME to drop it when he was the one making the huge deal over it... but when i called him he was ok and stuff and nothing was mentioned so its fine... tomorrow is thankgiving and also manny and chris' birthday so i have to give chris a call i doubt i'll call manny... well im gonna go and watch mrs doubtfire good bye bye xoxoxoxoxoxo

yesterday...

2005-11-21T11:15:10Z

yesterday was fun kinda it was boring throughout the WHOLE day i watched jay and silent bob strike back and die another day by myself while on my sisters lap top i WAS on my way to justins house until i called to tell him i was on the way and his mom said he was puking his brains out in the bathroom so i couldnt go over there and she sat there and was like "well justin says u've been sick" i was like "yuh but i havent been PUKING!!" i got kinda upset its like yuh i was sick and i saw him for ONE day when i was RECOVERED maybe its cuz the boy eats friggen nasty pancakes and just throws peanut butter on them to make them taste better... but anyways when my sis came home we played mouse trap and went to mcdonalds she is such a CHEATER i was supposed to win... then justin called sayn i could go over there for dinner and i have a ride... turned out i didnt have a ride so sarah took me over there and i stayed from like 7 to 10 and then his dad took me home we had fun he was ripping holes in his jeans with his pocket knife the holes in the knees were WAYY too big but he's in love with them and im just not gonna say anything cuz they looked pretty good... we watched my tape i made of music videos and sang along it was fun... well yuh i came home he called me and said good night and we went to bed and now im here and im so tired and im so happy its a 2 day week cuz then i have the whole thanksgiving holiday to do my make up work and ME AND LYNDSEY! r making a MOVIE so if u wanna be in it let me know and we will add u... lol so yuh im going bye

i loved today..

2005-11-20T04:06:59Z

i loved today last night was so boring being stuck at home all i wanted to do was see justin i had been looking forward to it all week since ive felt so crappy and he couldnt friggen come... but today i got to see him i went christmas shopping and got him all his presents and stuff i got him a rebel flag bed cover which is cute a belt buckle with the confederate flag as the background and it says BUBBA in big letters and i got him his "cowboy" sticker for his car :) lol i really hope he likes his presents his bubba buckle has the number 13 on it which is also his lucky number so yuh im in love with his present his cover is soooo soft urgh lol i wanna use it but im not gonna i got my sisters birthday and christmas presents ashley her christmas present and i got me a playboy paper lamp for 5 BUCKS!! when they r originally 20 i was like oh yuh go me... well after being os happy bargain shopping at the flea market lol i love it there i went to wal mart and then i went to see my husband lol and we watched that movie high tension which was scary as hell and then justin was acting like he was going to kill me i got pretty scared lol and there was one point he was just staring at me and i was like "what?" and he had this little smirk on his face and i was like "omg what do i have something on my face??" and im all rubbing my face and stuff and he is like "how did u ever get so beautiful baby?" i was like "awwwwwwwww" and gave him a big sloppy kiss lol just how he likes them my sis knows what he is getting my for christmas and its not something i can wear "unless i put it on my arm kinda" but i will use it EVERYDAY! idk what the hell it is i am lost i thought it was a purse but its not... my sis says it can be over 100 bucks i wanna kno what it is but then again i dont oh well i only got a month until i get it so yuh i guess im gonna have to wait but on christmas HIS present is gonna be the one i OPEN FIRST! lol but yuh he is watching a movie wit his mom once again i think his parents friggen forget i dont see him on weekdays and phone is like our only communication and they still do everything in their power to keep him off the phone as much as he can and omg get this... me and him were sitting on the couch watching south park after the scary movie and his mom called and she knows im sitting right there he friggen told her and she is all like "oh this is a fun party u shouldve come there was some kid here ur age who also wants to go into the military" big friggen whoop i think that is kinda rude she knows i was right there but whatever sometimes i feel like his mom loves me and then i think she hates me i dont kno maybe its just me but i thought that was pretty rude... well im gonna go and do some other stuff bye bye xoxo ohh and if any of u r wondering what i may want for christmas i would LOVE jason aldean's CD called jason aldean lol yuh bye xoxo

i feel like poppy

2005-11-17T00:15:04Z

i went to school today and got signed out in 3rd period i couldnt take it i feel like crap i am so sick and my temperature is high... im talking to justin right now and practically falling asleep i feel so weak and i hate it my mom wants to keep me off for the rest of the week which i wanna do cuz i dont feel good but i wanna be able to hang out on the weekend with my wonderful boyfriend and im kinda sad cuz he wants to go to the mall on friday wit his friends and i want him to come over here and see me cuz i really could use one of his hugs and when i heard that some random gurls were talking to his friends when they were at busch gardens doesnt make me feel very happy... like i kno i can trust him but his friends i can tell r big flirts and they r really cool and when he is with them i kno they r gonna see gurls and talk to them and stuff and he may of not talke to them but u never kno what those little girls r thinking... its not like he walks around with a sign on his chest sayn he has a girlfriend... i dont kno my jealous side is coming out and i hate it when that happens i think of the worst. Most of his friends r single and u just never know what will happen but when that was mentioned to me that they met some girls at bisch gardens he never told me about them and i know if i did that and i said i didnt talk to them he wouldnt believe me... it sucks cuz i kno i was supposed to go to howlo scream that night and instead he went there with all his friends talking to other gurls... and he "left his phone in the car" even tho he was supposed to call me and he promised i guess he was just distracted... i like his friends they r cool dont get me wrong but he is tryn his hardest to be like them he told me last night "i think i am going to go all prep" and its like why cant u be urself? he acts so different around his friends especially towards me i have to be the one who holds his hand and ask for a kiss... idk we NEVER get to hang out with MY friends cuz they dont drive cuz they randomly come out of no where when WE are spending our time togetha and he see's them all week. Luke was in love with one of my friends and he would call justin while i was over there to ask me to talk to her for him and thats how they got so close as friends its like if he can be in love wit a gurl he's not even dating and show more affection than u do to me when they r there and ur dating me what the heck is the problem? it makes me upset and we talked about it and we wanna have a day where i get my friends to meet his friends and we all hang out at the mall or something and so we can hopefully become a "group" and not have to worry about that kinda thing of me being stuck with all his friends cuz they will kno my friends and we can all hang out lol idk but yuh if u read this please help me out on this ive never been in a relationship where my b/f goes to a different school and idk if im just thinking too much of this friend thing... oh well im gonna go he should be callin me back soon he left to call his grandma lol (or is it another gurl) lol jk well im out i need to sneeze anyways bye xoxoxoxo

okie dokie...

2005-11-15T11:07:59Z

ok so i havent updated this thing since last Thursday... well Thursday night i went with my wonderful boyfriend, sister and her ex to go see saw 2 which is an awesome movie i dont kno why but the acting in the beginning of those movies always bother meand it makes me think they r gonna be shitty movies but then they r like the best movies ever... idk if its just me...

Friday i spent the WHOLE day at my hubbys house... we had so uch fun together it was pretty funny it was sad when he left for work i was in his house all by myself with just the cat to talk to so i figured i'd watch man on fire and i started bawling my eyes out over it and then after whoping my tears there was nothing else to do so i rewound it to the ending again to see if i would cry again after just watching it and i bursted out in histerics lol damn denzel washington for dying! He finally came home from work and saw my eyes were all puffy i watched the 10 whole yards to try and make me happier it was pretty funny... he thought it was cute.

Saturday i went with my wonderful boyfriend to lakeland, we spent alot of quality family time and painted a lamp lol that was fun. We ate steaks and all that good stuff but then me and justin and jordan got stuck with the dishes but all jordan did was put the plates on the counter and went back to playing video games so he really doesnt count...

Sunday unfortunately i didnt get to see my baby on Sunday he was too busy and i was sick my throat is all scratchy and my voice changed a bit and im not coughing alot my throat is just tickly its weird i dont kno...

Monday i didnt go to school since my throat which was sooooooooooo nice but...

It's Tuesday and im going to school but only a 4 day week for me and then 3 days next week and then a 5 day break yay! well im gonna go and do some other stuff b4 i leave... i should really use this time to get more sleep instead of in 3rd period lol oh well later...

Life is perfect right now...

2005-11-10T11:08:59Z

God ever since Friday night me and justin have been FANTASTIC! he came over and then my sis was out somewhere and my mom and dad left to go to the pub so me and him had like 3 hours to ourselves it was awesome we watched jackass and i cooked him chinese noodles and he had this crazy idea of wanting to jump on my bed but my fan would get in his way plus he would break my bed so i put all my blankies on the floor for him with my pillows and we jumped lmao it was so lame but so cute at the same time... i was on my period that day cuz i started at school which SUCKED but he made me feel so much better lol i took a shower while he was here cuz i felt icky and i was singing and when i stopped he would be like "why did u stop baby?" lol he was right outside the door listening it was cute so then we sang a song together lol...

SATURDAY was homecoming and omg that was a blast everyone thought i looked gorgrous especially justin i will do a picture post sometime tonight or something but omg it was awesome i didnt leave justin i didnt dance wit anyone else except the occasion booty grind wit ashley and maria lol i just had so much fun...

Sunday i went to lakeland with my baby and we saw the movie "jarhead" thats an awesome movie...

Monday was school.. school was lame but then i got to see justin and helped him with his project which was so funny lol he would NOT stop farting lmao he is so cute but stinky...

Tuesday was lame

Wednesday was like Tuesday...

And today is now THURSDAY last day of the week i bummed it today but ive practically bummed it everyday lol oh well i hope i can see justin tonight i think he is coming over here if my mom lets him... oh and yuh for my moms birthday i asked my dad if i can buy her some bon jovi tickets and so we r gonna look more into that this weekend i just hope i have enough money for everyone else i still needa get my sis her birthday present my dad a birthday present a dress for the military ball ashley and justin a present my sis a christmas present ugh! i friggen hate money... well not having it atleast but we will figure it all out this weekend g2g bus will be here soon bye xoxoxo

Thank god its Friday..

2005-11-04T11:11:40Z

Yuh well today is Friday and last night SUCKED!! Me and justin had a huge blow out once again and i ended up apologizing of course but w/e im gonna see him today and all of this is gonna get better tonight... he went out fishing and then he came back asking if i wanted to go to the rodeo tomorrow instead of just coming to my house and watching movies and stuff and i was like "i dont have any money" and then he is like "either am i but luke is coming with us" so then i knew that this was lukes idea and once again i would be stuck hanging out wit his friends. which i think is pretty shady since i ditch all my friends practically all the time for him but he invites his when we had this planned for this whole week, and he is like "well lukes a real good friend honey" and its like "uhh what do u think ashley is to me? or lyndsey? or shannon and christina?" but whenever i asked him if they could come he is always like "i thought it was gonna be just u and me baby?" but w/e he isnt going to the rodeo cuz all of a sudden now he "doesnt want to" but i know later on tonight he is gonna be sarcastic and say something about it i just know him too well but anyways we worked it out and i just cant wait to see him tonight and tomorrow is HOMECOMING!! i know we arent gonna fight then we love each other tooooo much lol well im gonna go myspace is being gay and is under maintenence so i think im gonna find some lunch money bye

Sarah's Birthday...

2005-11-03T11:04:27Z

HaPpY 18th Birthday Sarah...

Well after my update last night things wit me and justin got somewhat better and then completely worse again he once again just braught out all the past and make me feel like the worst person to date in the world and when i told him that he is just like "no u dont" "omg r u serious" and its like uhhh yuh i am serious, what his problem is is that he hears i talked to a guy and thats automatically a bad thing... that guy could be gay or in a reltationship himself and he'll still get pissed and half the time they are... i mean the only guys i talk to are guys like brandon, the other brandon, ryan and michael really and they r all my good friends. Others i wouldnt say we "talk" just a simple hey how r u?? but thats not good enough for him i guess even tho i kno damn well he does the same thing. Even if i did stop talking to them he would still use the fact that i DID talk to them against me so either way i cant win but w/e he should know by now i love him and only him and i think i show that with all the notes i write and all the comments i leave him on myspace all the calls i make to him and all the pictures i make and how every weekend i try my hardest to see him and not any other guy on the weekend... he says i hang out wit guys all the time cuz the other day i went to ryans house straight after school to give him his jacket back cuz i borrowed it... and i was like "well besides that day and i was just giving his jacket back cuz he went home sick early,have i hung out wit a guy?" and he couldnt answer and said "well ur always too busy with me" WELL DUH DOESNT THAT PROVE MY POINT? so he is just an over exaggerator but anyways after that retarded fight... we were all good..

and we had a really sweet conversation about how much we love each other lol stupid things like i said i loved him more than george bush loves america lol it was pretty funny but now we r all good and i am gonna try so hard to just prove to him that those guys r my friends and have been longer than i was friends with him... i dont know i think im just gonna stop all together and make him happy cuz i just want us to be happy... im not sure yet its alot to give up but for him it seems like its nothing. would he rather have me lie to him about talkin to my guy friends?? i dont kno but im not gonna lie to him. Blahhh im out

Happy 18th birthday sarah... just think if u were in england u could drink hahahahaha lol

Love's Too Hard...

2005-11-02T21:49:40Z

Well today is me and Justins 6 month and he is sick he didnt go to school or work today so im not gonna be able to see him on this special day that will only happen once in our lives and we've talked about it since like forever ago lol my mom is reading this right now and is laughing at me... we argued as soon as i got out of school eventhough all i have done all day is call him and make sure he is ok and make him pretty pictures but he just doesnt appreciate that i guess i dont kno... we r ok now i guess but this isnt really how i thought this day was gonna go... he is mad cuz we're fighting but i tried numerous times to forget about it and talk about something else but he just kept making me feel guilty and think of all the guys i was talking to which was only theo when i was walking home from the bus cuz he pulled my hair and was kickin me but he doesnt acknowledge all the times i called him and all the pictures i made him today but thats usual cuz he never does so whatever... but he's right its all my fault and it always will be im such a bad girlfriend and i cheat on him 24-7... :\ Happy 6 month to me and justin

Happy Halloween Everyone and Happy Birthday Kristen

2005-10-31T11:11:42Z

Yesterday was AWESOME! i looooooooooooove justin sooooo much! Urgh we argued real bad in the morning but then he called and asked if i wanted to go to lakeland and of course i said yes. We saw each other and he told me i looked cute today and i didnt say anything and got into the truck and he was like ok and got into the truck and drove us to lakeland... he is becoming such a gooood driver.. im proud of him. Anyways when we finally got there and stuff we didnt even say anything about the argument he grabbed my hand and dragged me around everywhere with him it was cute lol. We spent the day in lakeland and we went out to eat at firehouse subs and then went and got my halloween costume at party city... u will see pictures tonight do not worry lol. So yuh everything went well, we started talking about our future and stuff and he could not stop telling me he loved me last night he was on a roll lol made me smile!! We got his homecoming suit and boy o boy does he look sexy!! lol he's my pimp daddy lol (so his dad says) He really does look HOT in that thing. Anyways i get to see him tonight since its halloween and i get to see him on wednesday since its our 6 month anniversary so i only dont get to see him for 2 days this week oh yuh go us! lol well i gotta go almost time to leave for the bus bye bye xoxoxoxoxo

this weekend went from bad to sooo much better...

2005-10-30T05:07:01Z

Well on Thursday i went to that audition thingy with my dad... it was cool and i liked it... Friday i got a callback but they wanted 3000 dollars for a 10 week course before i could audition and then i couldnt audition cuz i dont have a greencard so my parents told me that when we get the greencard and get some money we will think of it... so yay but then my parents called me and said they would let me go to howlo scream wit justin and pay for me and everything so i was sooo pysched and told justin and got showered and everything and then he friggen calls me and tells me that he told luke i might not be able to go so luke went off and friggen asked some other kids to go and there wasnt enough room in the car for me... but it took justin over a friggen hour to call and tell me even tho he had been wit LUKE the whole damn time... and so he asked if i wanted him to come home and i said no even tho i wanted him 2 but its w/e so he went and i didnt get a phone call from him ALL NIGHT!! i was kinda upset and pissed cuz now not only didnt i go to my call back and didnt go to friggen howlo scream and he was just like "i feel so bad go hang out wit lyndsey or something" and its like wtf i wanna hang out wit my boyfriend u kno the plans we made?? when me and him got off the phone i shut off my phone and just went to sleep for 2 hours and was still pissed off when i woke up... ashley was over wit my sister and my parents went out... then sarah and ashley went to go rent out House of Wax... i'd already seen it... i watched 8 crazy nights ate pizza then watched the movie with them and brandon came 2... and then spencer. then they all left and then my sis had left her wallet at ashleys house so we had to go and get it which was friggen retarded... we came back and justin finally called me around midnight and i asked him how everything was and he said it was kinda gay and he didnt have much fun... we went to sleep and i was still pissed he left his phone in lukes car apparently... i woke up this morning and i called justin and he didnt answer so i left him a message and he called me back in like an once again... but i took a shower and his dad came and got me to CLEAN all day... since they were having relatives come... but they didnt leave til like friggen 3 in the afternoon so they got there at like 6 or 7 and they r leaving tomorrow around noonish so all that cleaning was really not necessary but w/e i guess i had fun... we went out looking for haunted houses around the neighbourhood and stuff cuz they didnt wanna pay 45 bucks a person in howlo scream so once again i dont get to go to this thing... friggen sucks ass but w/e we decided to go to hollywood video and just rent out a movie so we got amityville horror which is friggen scary as hell... and then they took me home... then justin called me and he left to go to sleep cuz he only got 5 hours of sleep and he complained about it all day... thats what he gets for goin to howlo scream lol but yuh i think im gonna go ill update later i have to go and get some pimp looking clothes for halloween urgh i got my pimp hat tho its sexay ill post pics in a minute or 2 bye bye xoxoxoxo

The 28th!

2005-10-28T10:14:37Z

Things couldnt be better for me and my Justin lol our conversations have been rough lately and we both have just been sord of rude to each other but now we're back to the "i love you's" and things he went through like 3 days of NEVER telling me that wait make that more like 5 days... he would tell me when he got off the phone but while we were talking and stuff i had to say it first and he would either say some smart mouth come back or just i love u 2 and thats it... i missed it but now its definately back lol and we're back to our old selves. Last night i went to that audition thing for the John Robert Powers company... It seems like something i would love to be involved in but it will never happen... Its too far my parents wont pay for me... and they both told me they dont think i am gonna get a call back...my mom didnt wanna come cuz she wanted to watch survivor... i may not get a callback but they were saying things about this place to make it seem like it was satan and they were trying to tell me how i would feel about being in that type of surroundings... they wouldnt know how i was on stage whenever i had a chorus concert my mom came to like 1 or 2 but she always asked if i cared if she didnt go, so obviously she didnt wanna go so its like ok then dont eventho i get dragged to johnny and karens and i sit there and watch u get drunk off ur ass and im tired and bored. Last year my parents came to districts and like all my swim meets this year they came to like 3 and then nothing. I dont kno what they want... my dad says to get a career but what if i want this to be my career? he wont pay for it he told me the second they talk about money he's gonna say forget it... what if they wanna coach me? i cant pay for that? My parents refuse too, it seems like even if i get this call back or not im gonna be shut down anyways... i talked to justin about it and he wants me to go and just see he thinks this could be a "break" for me and he knows how i feel about peforming and being in the arts i guess u could say and he was like "i'll pay for u to go but baby u have no idea how big this is and how proud and happy i am for u" he made me promise that if i get a callback tomorrow i HAVE to go tomorrow and give my 110% we were supposed to go to howloscream but it cost too much money for me to go and i might get this call back i dont kno if i want it anymore or not or if this is just a part of my dream to be somebody getting the best of me and ill never really go anywhere with it... oh well i better go to school and get an education incase i dont make it lol ill update later bye xoxoxoxo

today was crazy...

2005-10-26T23:57:57Z

Today was HILARIOUS!! not only is school awesome because its cold and my hair stays perfectly StRaigHt!! but me and my friend kristen and ofcourse miss lyndsey were walkin back form lunch and this one guy kristen "knows" from a "one night stand" kinda thing was on the bottom floor while we were on the bottom floor and we were walkin on the top floor coming back from lunch back to class and kristen baught a soda and i thought it would be funny if she dropped the soda on them so she stood back and threw some soda through the holes on the railings and we just starting bursting out laughing and ran into the class but friggen kristen dropped her cap and she couldnt go back out there with her soda bottle open cuz it would be obvious so i went back out there and all u see r all these black guys pissed off cuz they got soda on them, well i run and get the cap and go back inside and they come into our classroom and start questioning us and stuff like that cuz all three of us had sodas and we were just laughing and stuff and they were about to cry and only a few drops got on them it was so pathetic... but yuh my teacher came into the class and talked to them and one of them is in my class that period and he got a drop on his head but the guy she had the "one night stand" with got it on his "really expensive jacket" but my teacher asked us what happened and we just said it exploded and she moved it and it spilt over the railing and hit them and they didnt kno any better lol and they were sitting there saying we did it on purpose but my teacher went and got the soda out the kids jacket and then he didnt care he was cool wit us but the kid in my 3rd who got a dot on his head like seriously he didnt get pretty much any of it on him at all was complaining like a little bitch the whole period... and this one guy in my class who "claimed to have seen it all happen" even told the teacher it was an accident and her soda exploded lmao but we still got called down to the office and the guy whose jacket got wet didnt care anymore and he was being nice and stuff but god anthony was complaining so much it got to the point the teacher was like "anthony its time to get over it" lmao it was sooooo funny... but yuh im gonna go incase my baby is trying to call me bye xoxoxoxo

hEy...

2005-10-24T17:32:13Z

wow this weekend has been a blast/confusing... friday i had so much fun at christinas house it was awesome then on saturday i went straight to justins house from christinas house and we went bowling with his friend... i love him so much lol he was being so sweet... then yesterday when i found out i had NO SCHOOL TODAY! lol me and my sis went to wal mart and baught some stuff so i could make justin part of his anniversary gift lol but then he started gettin on me cuz he asked if i wanted to go to lakeland and i said no cuz i wanted to spend time with ashley and he started bitchin at me for not seeing each other and how its so hard which got me worried on if he was gonna leave me or not but we talked about it and we most definately r not splitting up... ok but yuh ashleys house was so much fun i miss hanging out wit her and i need to start doing it more often i miss her and her family she is definately the best lol but now i came home and i took a shower and it is sunny out so justins dad is gonna come and pick me up when he calls i guess and im going over there for the day... so im very happy not only will i get to see him we can talk face to face about everything... well im gonna go ill write more later bye bye xoxoxoxoxo

hEy...

2005-10-22T16:24:05Z

yuh well im at my friend Christinas house right now and i have had the best time ever we had so much fun... we went to districts yesterday so we had the day off school and then after me tawnee and shannon went back to christinas house and spent the night we were so crazy we drank and partied hardy lol i had a major hiccup problem and me and justin got into a big argument but we worked it out and i think im gonna see him tonight so we'll have a chance to talk about it more... this morning we made breakfast and everything me and shannon only got like 4 hours of sleep lol aweosme awesome... well im gonna go i think we r gonna go and take pictures and stuff ill be back to update later and hopefully will have a picture post of all these beautiful ladies i see lol bye bye xoxoxoxo

hEy...

2005-10-20T22:00:02Z

hey yuh well i havent updated this thing for a while but things for me r going awesome but things for my bubba arent going so great, i got to see him yesterday and had the most wonderful time he was being sooo sweet and i realized how much i love him and that i really can see a future for us and i want to be with him and i cant think of any reason for breaking up with him, i trust him with my life and i kno he would never hurt me things with me and him r going so smoothly and so perfect... but for him and his grades things r a challenge he got a conference call from his biology teacher he really wants block scheduling it really would help him he would have more time to work on his assingments and he will only have 4 classes on his mind every 9 weeks instead of 7 and the teacher can help him more than his teachers r now i want to help him and he knows i will help... i think he is embarrassed on the phone b4 he said "so how does it feel to have a retarded boyfriend" he even sat there and said he would drop out and just go to the working world and i dont want him to do that he has asked his parents constantly to change to block scheduling even before me and him were together and they havent done anything about it and he is so fed up.. he does all his work he just doesnt get good grades on it... i dont kno what to do i want to help but i cant do anything about it :'( well im gonna go my tacos r about done and i am starving ttyl bye bye

URGH!!

2005-10-13T00:23:53Z

god im about to go to my room and break down when i am done with this entry this day has been sooo depressing... my day at school was fine until after the stupid PSAT which is the most retarded test i have ever taken in my friggen life... and now my parents r fighting over me... anyways i called justin after the PSAT and he didnt answer it but he had it on vibrate so he got it taken away once again so he is grounded from me again not just the phone but from seeing me 2 i already was told i couldnt see him tonight and maybe not tomorrow or friday, and i wont see him on saturday and sunday cuz he is goin to daytona beach with his parents so this is an oppurtunity to see him for 4 days and by the looks of things im not gonna see him once... so i went and watched beauty shop and so my dad told me the computer was fixed i went to go look at my pictures and the page no longer exists so now all my pictures are gone! and now my parents just opened some mail from my school talking about my grades and i need AIP classes which i dont friggen need im passing everything besides creative writing which i might be passing now... and thats an elective i bet its cuz of my FCAT scores last friggen year i got a 2 on the reading but werent they supposed to put that in my schedule before school started not a quarter into the year?? so now my parents keep asking me about my grades and now everything is just going downhill i dont know im trying to do better and everything just keeps getting harder... i need someone to talk to about it but the person i can talk to the most cant talk to me cuz of my stupid fault... i feel so bad and i wish i never would of called him... urgh! i dont wanna go to those stupid classes god there r so many other people that need it more than me and half the questions on the FCAT is a bunch of bullshit! anyways jesus i hate friggen school and all this crap they make us do... nothing gets easier... now they added science and all this crap and now they r talking about adding social studies its like they r wanting me to fail... my dad gave me the nastiest look ever... i know if this keeps up its bye bye justin... god he doesnt even go to my school so how can he effect anything? my first period teacher does nothing but assign shit out the book like chapters upon chapters its crazy... my 2nd period teacher is crazy she cant control a class to save her life and everything is so messed up in there and rushed, my third period we are making up a mythological character which is something u do in the first grade make up a monster and give it special powers i thought creative writing would be alot better then what it is i wanted to work on something i like to do like songs and stories and stuff but not greek mythology its like english 1 all over again and 4th is easy i guess the best class and teacher i have. my mom is calling the school on monday and whatever they say my mom will believe and changes r gonna be made the paper was sent to me for some reason... this sucks my sis just got home from church... and im gonna go in my room and do what i was gonna do in the beginning of this entry... bye

yo

2005-10-09T16:12:44Z

hey hey hey... yuh well its sunday and i still havent gotten my computer back but i am using my sisters fancy to do lap top that she got with her scholarship money so yuhhhh anyways i am going to update on my fabulous weekend, well Friday i went to Justins house straight after swim practice which was fun of course... we watched jeepers creepers 2 which was pretty stupid lol and then me and him got a call and decided to go to his schools homecoming football game but of course we arrived at like the 3rd quarter and we had to walk there and the stupid security guards wouldnt let us in since it was past half time... so justin and me went to go, this other guy and gurl was over there 2 and the gurl hopped over first and split her hand in half it looked like she was crying so hard, then i went to go over there and my jeans kept getting caught on the fence at the top so i had to jump back down and i had slit up my wrists pretty bad and the top of my hand, and i didnt even realize until it started stinging like helllll lol and my legs are cut up 2 and so justin jumped on another fence and then jumped over the smaller fence. but i couldnt do that because i am way too short lol so his friend alex who was currently in the game already came to help but my hand was hurting so bad i was like id rather not is it worth seeing the last quarter fo the game? i felt bad but omg i was in pain! lol so he decided to show me around his school and inside... bloomingdale is actually pretty on the inside but the halls look the same so i would get lost lol and their cafateria is weird but we went to the gym and played basketball and volleyball and then som gurl called lauren he knows thats in his second period came in and i said hey and stuff and we moved on and so we saw her later on and she asked if we were going to homecoming and we said no since we r going to mine and then it seemed like she hated me lol but too bad for her... so yuh he showed me all his classrooms and i gave him kisses at each door so everytime he goes to school in a classroom he will think of it lol thats what he did when i showed him around my school when we did concession stands, i used to potty in that school and they r soo nasty riverviews toilets r like kings toilets compared to those urgh! lol anyways he walked home and we were so tired we put on a movie and fell asleep until my sister called and said she was on the way... so i left and then when i got home i called him to check in and then went to sleep, i woke up at 6:13am since i started my wonderful period lol i didnt go back to sleep i stayed up and just watched T.V it was horrible lol later on i went to justins house again, we watched training day and his brother had another hissy fit and threw his dad remote table he likes to keep beside his side of the couch on the tile floor and broke it in half, while his parents were out of course so lord knows whats gonna happen there. we had pizza and me and justin got into a food fight it was hilarious, then we went to his room and hung out for a bit and he helped me with my cramps and stuff he is such a sweetie... but yuh i left and i borrowed road trip came home and watched it while talking to him on the phone and then went to sleep i woke up again at like 6:45am cuz my cramps were real bad...this period isnt a very nice one at all lol i cooked breakfast for me and my dad no one else wanted any and now i am just sitting here updating my journal since my sister wont let me do anything else on this thing lol oh welll im gonna go and check and write some mail to people my dad should be back soon wit da computer and the new hard drive yayyyyyyy.... good day i hope i get to see justin again today yay!!! lol ohhh yuh and we might be going to see wallace and gromit yay!! lol bye